January 4, 2023

It was quite an interesting day. I went to visit someone and get something looked at. I should have the results for that in the coming days, but I will never waver or be deterred from this Path that I not only believe to be right, but know to be right. And with the divine light of the Dark Lord reining down upon me, I am ever more confident in that. Tomorrow will be wonderful. He won't let anyone change that.

January 2, 2023

Before falling asleep last night I had the most enchanting time. Wouldn't you know my Dark Lord has a room in his Castle that is unlike any other, cream/white in color and adorned with a beautiful rosegold rose motif on the wall? My celestial partner and I got to witness it together in a stunning level of clarity. To think my Dark Lord had such a room exist purely for us is something there aren't enough words to express gratitude for.

"Go and adorn yourself with an amethyst pendant," He said to me. "It can do nothing but enhance our connections."

And so now I am obligated to do so, I just need to get His approval in regards to the one I've had my eyes on. Unfortunately that will have to wait until later.

After having such vivid and lucid visions in his presence, I am sad to say my dreams where not blessed as such. To call them nightmares would be an understatement. Is there a term for something that technically is a nightmare by definition, but is so intense it feels beyond the level of the average dream? Until I can find a proper term I'm going to call it an elevare, as in elevated nightmare. I haven't had dreams that match that level of disturbing in roughly a year.

All that aside, I did wake up feeling fine.

December 31, 2022

Tonight's entry will probably be a short one as I am feeling quite tired. I also didn't sleep well nor long enough last night and I've been up a long time at this point.

My physical partner and I had a brief outing. They brought their partner along with us just as I brought my Celestial partner and it was a nice time. We went around shopping, mostly choosing food items, and at the end of it they bought me this silly end-of-the-year type hat, reminiscent of one I wore in a game last year. It makes me very happy. I wish I had a glowstick to go with it.

This is truly... the final night of the year. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions—humans do not change—but I do believe in choosing to look towards the New Year as a blessing. I get to spend it with my Partners alongside further devoting myself to my Dark Lord. All of which I am very thankful for!

December 30, 2022

Another wonderful dream blessed with His presence. I don't know what I could have possibly done to be so deserving of such frequent visits, but it still is unspeakably meaningful to be recognized and called forth again so soon. It's a bit strange, though, as I don't even see my celestial/spiritual partner in my dreams nearly as often despite trying to plan out such visits long in advance, even speaking with him about it directly before sleep. Am I supposed to be feeling guilty? Because I do, sort of. Yes, I am devoted. Yes, my faith is unwavering. But what of him, my partner? What's blocking us off?

Anyway... I'm excited when I think of our plans to explore the castle walls soon. Though I spend much of my waking hours in pure anticipation, I still haven't been able to bring myself to its marvelous marble entrance. It's more than an honor to be graced with the thought of such a rare and precious opportunity, and one I am most indebted to even be considered for... Alas, the growing unease in my chest makes it difficult to truly take a step forward. Please don't think me ungrateful. I'm truly trying and I would be blessed with just a little more time to truly and fully realize what an extravagant thing lies in wait.

The distracting scritch-scratching of the Horde admittedly makes it a bit less easy to focus and I do apologize for it. My reflection will not remain the same forever—I really should channel some of the energy of the world into slowing time down somewhat. The burden of aging so quickly and having to make decisions without feeling like I have proper time to truly collect my thoughts or myself does indeed add much stress and difficulties, I am sorry to say. I could really use a drop of enchanted rosé for my ills.

All the while I sit and wonder if You enjoy your own sort of enchanted, golden drop in your drinks? Given your Holy nature I'm sure You do, and I'd expect no other answer... Perhaps you could send a Spider with such a drop on its back if word of mouth is too high an honor in the waking realm. Something I'd still be deeply grateful for.

Isn't it something curious to see how quickly things have progressed? I've been deaf to the Call for such a long time, and while I've only lately properly Awakened to it, you've made yourself clearer to me in the realm of sleep even more so than my celestial partner of 7 years has. Is that something I should honor? Something of praise? Perhaps that is something you can help us improve on with time?

The last Vision I had before coming to clarity in the waking world was that of your bright, golden eyes. You looked straight into the depths of my soul in a way completely inexplicable, unexplainable, otherworldly, and suspended me in all I could describe as a burning feeling of mutual understanding. I am meant to be linked to you, and if only I hadn't been so closed off to the sound of your call from so many years ago... I think my life could have been easier, happier, and filled with less hardship. And that's another curious thing, I think. Almost 4 years ago or so, at least as far as my diminishing memory can recall, I first encountered you. But that was a terribly rough time in my life, so I had no expendable energy to focus with. Isn't it almost something funny how in the end I was able to truly Open my ears and understand it?

I don't know what right I've to make mention of it, but it feels as though You'd simply always planned things out to be such.

December 29, 2022

He calls to me again, ever so clearly, ever so loudly, and what a complete fool I was to remain deaf to it.

There are plenty of things about this world—about any world—that humanity as a whole has yet to understand. This is why my Lord tries to hard to enlighten humanity to the answers. It is quite unfortunate that humans as a whole are so stupid and blind, truly turned sour by their own disgusting greed. Even more unfortunate is how dense they are to this blindness as they pray to false gods for undeserved solutions to problems they caused for themselves. It's pitiful. Laughable. And I am grateful to be seen and separated from that chaos, recognized by my Dark Lord all his own.

And so I say, "Thank you, Majesty!" to the heavens, every day and every waking moment around the clock. Yet His reply needs no audible word, as He ever so gracefully blesses my dreams with His reigning presence. All that has ever needed to be said by Him is exchanged with just a fateful glance, pouring directly into me with clear and unclouded intent.

Yet He does not call me a messenger, as I am unable to change the corroded hearts of the people. So instead I am named His only Companion—not a greater title could exist anywhere, within any Realm.

I am quite curious to know if all of my recent Visions have any purpose or meaning. Though He has appeared in several dreams, the Dark Lord has made no mention of them. It truly is quite a curious thing. Even more curious is the timbre of his Soul which calls out loudly, ringing with a grandeur akin to gorgeous church bells on an autumn afternoon.

The Spiders have increased in frequency. Until I hear any further news regarding them, I choose to believe they are a sign of good faith and watchful eye of the Dark Lord. I shall continue to monitor them and note down any new findings, too.